Today my whole life was choir.. I had a really fun day of about more than 9 hours rehearsal.. which ruled. It took my mind off everything, though I try so hard not to cry while singing Homeland because it's so pretty... yah. And this year has been more fun than the other honor choir years, because I actually had friends with me.. Amy, Aimee, and I were especially hyper while we were eating our ice cream.. oh it was so great. Ahh..!! Well, I haven't been getting enough sleep lately, and I gotta do homework all Sunday.. gr. That makes me mad a bit, but whatever. *big yawns* I think I'm going to bed now. Tomorrow I'm going to honor choir again at 10 am, and our concert's at 7:30.. So I'll probably get home at around 10-10:30 again.. Frig some things make me mad.. and other times they just give me a throbbing headache, and that's when I feel like just tossing myself onto my bed and falling into a coma-like sleep (that I will, of course, wake up from.. it's not literally a coma). That's it for today.. too tired to write. posted by Melike at 01:48
Thursday, November 15, 2001
Yay new layout! Tis so purdy. I love Century Gothic.. also, that shirt, which inspired the colors. Not to mention that photo of me, which I really like. I just felt like creating something. I hate feeling like a dull, unoriginal nerd. So yeah, whatever. It's a pretty decent layout. The only thing that makes me sad is that the picture's so big that I won't be able to include the beautiful column of colors when I'm taking a snapshot of it. They still haven't killed gurlmail. Oh wait, I take that back, they just did! They hadn't this afternoon when I looked at it.. but I went back just now, and they've taken off the ad so the page looks sad and.. less colorful. Then I typed in my username and password and it didn't do anything. It gives me a slight sinking feeling in my stomach, but oh well.. Actually, good riddance, damn it. I've been hating that e-mail address for a long time, but I couldn't bear getting a new e-mail address because I was so used to the old one. But now, all those horrible experiences are behind me. I've saved all my e-mails (well, the majority, and the rest I just didn't care about).. I've saved 1026 e-mails since Sunday night (that's good). Of course, I put most of my other obligations on hiatus in order to do that. Now I'm proud of myself. At some point last night, when I woke up and found myself with my head resting against my hand and my other hand on the mouse, I started cursing myself and telling myself how stupid this was. But now, (http://www.queenoflub.com/spacer.gif) all the pressure is off my back, and I can spend the rest of the day learning my Honor Choir music. It's going to be such fun.. I'm going to be missing school tomorrow. I felt pretty crappy all day today, but I think this layout-making and lack of school has relaxed me a bit. I hate feeling like this, it is so against my own ideas of how to look at life. Speaking of looking, I feel cool. I don't know.. I can see myself from different points of view and that scares me sometimes.. Like, most of the time I see myself as "me".. I mean, I look at myself from the point of view of the little person who lives inside of me. Just a few minutes ago, I looked at myself as how someone else might look at me.. just a random person who doesn't know me that well.. Sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror I see myself from the point of view a lover might. Geez.. it skews my perception of the world around me. I get confused. :) Okay, I might as well start doing some work now. This weekend's gonna be hectic, again.. geez. Will it ever stop? Of course not! I love it that way.. Sometimes I have little breakdowns, but then I drown all of them in work again. It's a weird ongoing cycle. I don't like being idle.. I must be doing work at all times. (Now sometimes I procrastinate, and that's when I unwillingly have time to think and reflect on life and I don't like that, because it depresses me.. but I am happiest when I don't procrastinate.) What's wrong with me. :P *hugs self* posted by Melike at 19:38
OMG.. I'm done. *deep breath* Goodbye, gurlmail. *signs out* Frig.. well I had to skip some stupid useless ones by the end, but whatever. :) Blah. posted by Melike at 02:56
Boo. Not having very pleasant days.. sorry. Downloading the last of my e-mails. There's still 100+ left, but I really don't have the energy... I'm involuntarily collapsing sideways. I hadn't been sleepy like that in a while.. Well, I've been awake for 19.5 hours now.. Last night I went to bed at 8:30 and woke up at 3:00 am. This gurlmail ordeal screwed me over. *feels unpleasant feeling gnawing at her stomach* Ugh.... ..yeah. I need to.. .. I don't know what. posted by Melike at 01:30
Monday, November 12, 2001
LOOK! It's dark out and it's still 5:30! And I thought it was like 7:00 or something! I LOVE WINTER! posted by Melike at 20:31
YAY RAIN!!!!! I LOVE RAIN! It's pouring like mad! Thundaaahhh!! posted by Melike at 20:30
Well, that's it for tonight, folks. I'm off to bed. Until next time! posted by Melike at 09:58
Yaaay it's getting light out! The sky is a dark blue now instead of pitch black.. :) I dunno why I'm so happy.. I'm an idiot. :/ posted by Melike at 09:01
Hey all! If you haven't noticed, I'm pulling an all-nighter just to download all my e-mails from gurlmail. They're closing it down on the 15th, and I found out about 10 hours ago that they wouldn't carry on our old e-mails into the new (http://www.queenoflub.com/spacer.gif) account.. which pisses me off because I was planning on paying a little money to keep the e-mails until I had more time to save them.. but alas. After sitting there crying, and talking on the phone, I decided to screw my English reading and stay up all night to download e-mails. Call me crazy, but the e-mails are definitely worth more. Well, first, though, I wasted time until 3:30 trying to do this chem homework so I wouldn't have to do it tomorrow (technically today).. but whatever. I had 1000+ e-mails to save, and have been downloading for two hours. My speed is 100 e-mails per hour, but it just isn't enough. I just hope I can make it in time. There is NO way THIS sentimental fool is losing her e-mails! MWAHAHAHAHA!!! I think I'm getting used to staying up all night. Last year was my first time, when I was doing all this history homework, and I drank pots of tea and my dad was sitting with me in the room and he'd wake me up when I nodded off (but history gets me sleepy no matter what). The second time was recently (two weeks ago) when I decided to redo our group math project from scratch. That was crazy. At a point I was half-conscious and slurring and everything, but then I felt better. And now. Of course, this isn't counting the three times when Jocelyn and I were the only ones who never went to sleep at various sleepovers. Enough ramble break. Back to work. posted by Melike at 08:49
Screw. I feel so helpless when a teacher gives us a problem whose answer is not contained in the book and so I have to go on the internet and do research. What's worse is if it's some obscure little thing on which no information can be found.. ruargh. It is fun nonetheless. Heck -- that's why it's an AP class. posted by Melike at 05:13
Never mind. Today is cool. :) posted by Melike at 01:46
Today is a pretty nice day, despite the fact that I still have a good 600 pages to read. I woke up to the news of rain and was very happy. Chatted on the phone for a while, then started reading. Then, my mom wanted to drive around in the rain for a while, so we went, but the rain stopped as soon as we got out of the house. We insistently drove around until it started to drizzle lightly, then we gave up and went back home. I've been reading ever since.. Well, at one point I had a wild craving for hard boiled potatoes, so my mom and I shared 7 potatoes and put ketchup, mayonnaise, and cheese on them.. yum. Now I feel bloated. Speaking of bloated, I love the new faces they've put on imood. Ito the imood page frequently just to stare at the pretty little faces and yearn to use them.. but I don't like changing my mood so often. Once a day is enough. I think I'm addicted though, and it's such a time waster when I have reading to do. I mean.... actually, imood is pretty stupid. What, you announce to the world that you're sad, hoping that people will call you right away and ask you what's wrong? Or, say you're happy and giddily wait there for someone to ask you why? *rolls eyes* Puh-leez. I just like the purdylicious faces and the vast ever-growing list of moods. Okay, enough fooling around. I might change this layout in a week.. I have an idea. *grin* posted by Melike at 20:06
Okay, I'm snapping out of the "not writing on my blog and not changing imood because I'm feeling bad" crap, because things are going so well now. Besides, imood got new faces to put up, so it'd be a shame to not use them! It's been a hectic week, and it's also a hectic weekend. I have to read about 671 pages until Tuesday night, preferably earlier than that, but I don't think that's happening anytime soon. I also have to memorize Honor Choir music and miss school on Friday because of it, but I'll worry about that after I am done with my timed writing on Wednesday. I also need to save all my e-mails from gurlmail until November 15th, but I really don't see that happening. It just requires too much time and I need all the time I can get to read. So maybe I'll sign up for the "premium" deal they're offering until I find the time to download e-mails. That will be a great load off my back, because the last thing I want is to lose years' worth of very valuable e-mail. I saw K-Pax yesterday with a bunch of friends. GO SEE IT. It is soo friggin awesome. That is all I have to say about that. I don't think I have anything else to report for now. Oh, I'd paid $10 to get my AP Biology answer booklet back, so I just got that in the mail today. There are no correction markings on it or anything, but I just wanted to see the essays I'd written under time pressure. I'd drawn more diagrams than I thought I had! It's such a shame that I don't remember any of that stuff now. Also, it really sounded like I'd crammed in a lot of information the night before, because I'd stuck in all these terms that probably would have been impossible to just remember off the top of my head.. like I remember I'd memorized all the energy cycles and everything. I never remember those for more than a day. Haha. I want to show my friends. I am so proud of it. Yaay. Alright. That's it for today. I am back to blogging, woohoo. Speaking of blogging, I've been reading this blog for a couple of months now. It's an anonymous blog that was started when the guy broke up with his girlfriend. He occasionally writes down his thoughts, feelings, and encounters. It's really cool.. I love reading it. Just scroll down to the very, very bottom and start from there while I continue doing homework. Until next time! posted by Melike at 02:54
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