Argh.. I am stupid.. Haha. I was writing an entry, and in the middle of it I got distracted and decided to change the fonts on Netscape, so when I clicked "OK" the page reloaded and I lost what I'd written so far.. grr.. but Netscape is so cool. I can now check my mail from here, and don't have to go to Yahoo! once every 15 minutes. Haha, I set it up so it checked my mail once a minute! *cackles* Anyway, today was the first day of my SAT prep class. I can't really tell if I like it or not, since all we did was take a practice SAT test. We will know the scores by tomorrow (yay!) and the instructor is going to go over it and stuff. It should be fun.. for some reason I tend to think pretty positively about classes, and people think I'm a dork or something.. Hehe.. like this year.. man, there isn't ONE class I hate.. which is a good thing. *ahem* Anyway, I hope my score is pretty high.. if it's below a 1400 I shall be depressed.. but I never got that before either but this damn class is supposed to improve me, so it better work.. grr. Anyway, it's good that I reloaded the page by accident, because I'd rambled too much in the entry I was writing and it was beyond repair. That's it for now... bye! posted by Melike at 16:50
Friday, September 07, 2001
Today was a very good day! I finally went to the classes I was supposed to go to.. Yay, no more of that stupid statistics class! Sadly, the first day I go to my Spanish class we have a sub... geez. Anyway, I'm glad to discover that I haven't *completely* forgotten my Spanish yet.. just need to brush up on a few irregulars and little things like that. Today was also my first official day in Acadeca (although I was there yesterday too, but that was because Gaida wrote me a pass to get me out of the French class I was assigned to). It is SUCH a cool class, and Mr. Gaida is so laid back and relaxed.. He's so funny! Well.. I don't have much to say, except that tomorrow my SAT prep class starts, and it sucks! Why, you ask? Well, because geez! It's on Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays! I will have no free time! However, Anya will be taking it with me so I hope it'll be fun. *sighs* I'm scared of the SATs, man. And I'm scared of studying, since I'm just going to end up depressing myself and I don't even want to bother learning new vocabulary words anyway. Somehow I've been forgetting all the new vocabulary words I've been taught in the past.. 3 years or so. I probably have a mental block against growing my vocabulary or something.. ergh. And in math.. man, I do stupider mistakes as time passes. It is really quite sad. I don't know how I manage to get As in math.. ah well. Hehe. posted by Melike at 18:58
Man... I am such a nerd! Well okay, today was our first assignment for English, so I wanted to make it really impressive. Actually, it didn't start out that way. I was just going to do it as though I was doing any homework. The assignment was to analyze a small paragraph and note the literary devices the author used in order to establish the tone. There was a lot of margin space, but the teacher told us to do the homework on a separate sheet of paper. Since that's a bit harder, because you need to copy down sentences instead of circling and underlining and drawing arrows on the text itself. Anyway, to make a long story short, I actually typed up a 1.5 page (single spaced.. teeny font) essay, in which I analyzed it sentence by sentence. I designated one paragraph for each sentence so it was sort of creepy. What can I say, there were a lot of literary devices so I just couldn't ignore them all.. the teacher told us to write the most in-depth analysis, but I don't think she was asking for what I just did. But you know what? This is an AP course so it's okay.. I'm supposed to overachieve! And after sounding this cocky, it would be funny to go to school tomorrow and discover that everybody else typed up 2-page essays.. but I hope not. I want to make a good impression! Today I am late (I was planning on going to bed at 10:00.. yeah right!) because I was watching the tennis thing. Man! Andy Roddick lost! I liked him! He was cute! And he was good, too! And Guga lost today, and I think Rafter lost yesterday. That's not good.. all the men I've been rooting for have been eliminated. Ah well, I'm looking forward to watching Martina Hingis and the Williams sisters, at least. And this is the only time you'll ever see me interested in sports!! Okay.. good night all. Oh! Which reminds me.. my dad downloaded the new version of Netscape and I'm so happy! I got all my bookmarks and stuff again! (I'd switched the Explorer months ago because Netscape 6.0 sucked, and I never did bother to move my bookmarks to Explorer.) Yay! Wow, tomorrow's Friday. It's not fair, I don't want weekends! Ever!! Okay.. good night all. posted by Melike at 02:51
Thursday, September 06, 2001
I GOT MY SCHEDULE FIXED! I am soo happy.. so finally, I don't have to go to that dumb Statistics class.. Tomorrow, I'm going to go to my Spanish class for the first time.. I'm gonna be with Robert.. I'm so excited! Aside from that, today was another wonderful day. I got all these papers from Acadeca that we have to study.. I think over the weekend. Anyway, I love all my teachers and all my classes and everything seems soooo cool.. (Well, for now, at least.) But man, I have soo much homework.. and I have to practice my piano, because I haven't at all this week.. only during the weekend.. and my lesson's tomorrow. Boo! And I need to show a good effort on my homework tonight.. I just need to. I just noticed that this blog is becoming a place for "school panic" ramblings again.. Sorry.. I will post something meaningful later. By the way, Chelsea, I linked you! Sorry for not showing any recognition.. I do read your blog every day, but I keep forgetting to say hi to you here every time I write. *grins* So.. yeah.. Go see Chelsea's blog! That's it for now.. See you guys later. *smiles* posted by Melike at 19:45
Wednesday, September 05, 2001
SCHOOL RULES!! and I'm probably the only one to say that today. Well, no, I bet some other people were happy that school started. Me, I'd been looking forward to it ever since summer started. That sounds sad, I know.. but too bad. By the way, I'd like to mention that my summer was horrible. *grins* Having 8 hours of summer school every day sucked, and then the rest was spent procrastinating.. something I hate to do, but I force myself to do.. which sucks! So, my schedule is messed up but not too badly. I'll definitely change it by the end of tomorrow, and all my problems will be solved and I will be very, very happy. A lot of things have changed.. but everything sort of seems the same.. I love school. I'm happy to announce that my binder passed the "is it fit enough to survive through the year?" test.. Well.. It looks like a promising binder.. not to mention it's green. *grins* Today I went and bought all these school supplies so now I guess I couldn't be readier for school! Now, if only my schedule complied. Ummm.. sorry to burst your bubble, but I think that's it for now.. oh and I keep forgetting.. explodingdog is updating again! He was gone for a vacation or something, I guess, and now he's back. Haha, yesterday's are pretty gory. But we love 'em anyway. I'm sooo sleepy. Too much jumping around saying "THIS IS SO COOL! I LOVE SCHOOL!" *cough* Man, I could fall asleep any second.. that's bad news.. it's only the first day! posted by Melike at 23:00
Ah, the night before school starts! Everybody is up finishing their summer reading and whatnot. *grins* How exciting! School! Me, I only have 20 more pages of Walden to read. I should be in bed by 11:00 (if only I could stop checking my mail and writing in my blog!). I feel better, since "Civil Disobedience" was 30 pages and I read that in about 45 minutes.. go me!! *grins* Kai was right, the thing is good. Hehe. Before that, I was busy writing solfege on my music (which we got the 2nd week of summer and were supposed to learn by school started). But I learned that we're not supposed to memorize them, and the quartet testing won't happen until next week anyway, so who knows? Maybe I'll even have time to memorize over the weekend. I can pretty much sight-sing with no difficulty. Before, I was finishing up my chem reading while watching the tennis thing, although it's a bit hard to read something while watching TENNIS.. geez. Anyway, you know what happened before that. Why do you care? Well.. ya don't! You know what I'm going to do for my senior year? Get school supplies on the most random day there is! Like in the middle of the summer, when nobody is thinking about binders and notebooks and paper. Mwaha.. HAHA! Hey, I might even do my summer reading early! Well... it's gonna be my last year in high school next year, I might as well show some effort. :P That's it for now.. I'll write of the wonderful news and how screwed my schedule is tomorrow.. Pray for me that I actually have 1st and 4th periods.. But that's okay.. I'll find refuge in Mr. Rhodes' and Mr. Gaida's classes.. My favorite teachers! Yah mon! posted by Melike at 01:15
Tuesday, September 04, 2001
So I just spent 3 hours looking for the perfect binder for the upcoming school year. It was very tiring. We went to at least 5 stores.. Anyway, I'm glad to announce that it is olive green. *grins* Yay! It had better function well.. I'm going to be really pissed if it turns out that I'll have to buy a new one. Simmering anger feeling in my gut still continues.. Actually, that reminds me of a steaming pile of manure just sitting inside my stomach! Haha! Oh how I hate the feeling. I just visited Mr. Rhodes' new choir room today.. (The old one was demolished as soon as school ended..) And it's lookin' good! It actually looks like a real live choir room! And he still kept up my poster that I did for English class!! I am so honored!! *cries* It's so awkward that last year I had English in that classroom.. but now that that English teacher is gone, and the choir room is demolished, Mr. Rhodes grabbed it and turned it into something beautiful! Yay choir!! I guess that's it for now. Great, I'm 4 hours behind already! Well, back to work, I suppose. I can't wait to get to school tomorrow! posted by Melike at 19:33
School starts tomorrow.. I gotta read all day today... *grins* Naughty, naughty me. I'm breaking records, emotion-wise. If I had a device that measured how angry I got with something, I bet these days would show the highest reading I've ever experienced in my life. Right now I'm just simmering, half glad that the torment is almost over.. or is it beginning anew? Well. This stupid constricting feeling in my chest of anger and disappointment will stay for a while as I keep remembering. But damn it, I will survive! I won't let this ruin my 11th grade year! So there! Everything will be FUN! The SATs, the AP exams and the like don't scare me at all!! *tries to cackle, trembles instead* posted by Melike at 14:13
Monday, September 03, 2001
"Let us all die because I can't draw."
I think an artistic slump is the #1 reason of depression in my life. And you can guess how depressed I've been this whole year. I'm guessing that the year 2001 wasn't a very good year for me, artistically speaking. I mean, I'm serious. It takes me days to motivate me to even take out a pencil, and then I just can't draw. I see nothing in my head, therefore I can't put anything on paper. And so I just sit there, trembling with rage, and often times I cry. I don't really cry that easily -- the tears just come and stop there -- but when I can't draw something I just can't stand it... I really really can't.. And no matter how good the day's been, it just ruins it all for me. It has the strength to wipe out all of the happinesses of the past few days. The bad part is, nothing can cure it. Now I feel like I've lost my ability forever and I think of quitting.. and I've quit drawing before, and started up again, and quit again, in the past few months. I know it'll come back to me someday, in the distant future, but by that time my drawing style will be reduced to how I drew when I was 12 years old. I just know it. And I hate thinking about it. Just thinking about it makes the tears come too. But thinking about it while trying to draw - or even not thinking about it while drawing, then noticing the reality, then thinking about it -- this is one of the worst feelings I've ever experienced. posted by Melike at 02:34
Omg.. I just watched the best tennis match I've ever seen in my life.. It was Gustavo Kuerten (Guga) against Max Mirnyi, and the first two sets were won by Mirnyi, and the 3rd and 4th sets were won by Guga by tiebreakers!! And then he won the last set! Woohoo! Man, when Guga lost the 1st two sets I didn't think he could make it.. BUT HE DID! OMG! I'M SO HAPPY!!! And he's cute, too!! YEAH!!! Go cute guys!!! *cackle* Hehe.. j/k. *smiles* I didn't watch it for 3.5 hours for nothing! This rules!! posted by Melike at 00:37
Sunday, September 02, 2001
Argh.. I'm just about to cry! It's a good book, now don't get me wrong, but it's really long and I have other reading to do! And now, I bet it's too late to pick another book so I have to finish this one. I'm calculating that if I read until 1:00 am tonight, I'll be done with half of it.. which depresses me. I am going to watch the tennis thing again, because I can't watch it tomorrow. It started at 4:00, but I spared an hour to read. Now I shall watch that until 7:00... or 8:00.. or whenever it ends. It's fun. posted by Melike at 19:45
GrrrRRRrrrRR. Roar! I couldn't find a book to read so I stupidly chose Wuthering Heights.. it's unabridged and everything. Now, there's no way in hell I'm finishing that thing by tonight, so my plans for the rest of the summer are hereby ruined. And I had so perfectly planned them, too. *sobs* On other news.. ROAR I'm angry with something that maybe I shouldn't be angry about. Ah well. Who cares. Maybe I'm just looking for things to be angry.. or maybe I just get angry at everything now. Whatever the case may be, roar. Being angry makes me feel sick to the stomach anyway, or is that just hunger.. maybe it is. I'm going to eat some nuts now, and I hate eating when I still have the toothpaste's taste in my mouth.. roar. Overuse of the words "angry" and "roar." posted by Melike at 17:40
Hola.. Yay, I'm not feeling as bad and headachy as yesterday. In fact, I'm feeling motivated, and I'm sure either Kai or Jocelyn did it. In fact, I think it's Jocelyn this time, because I made her read all my comics when she came to sleep over and she liked them and wants me to do more. She doesn't understand that.. *sob* I CAN'T anymore! See.. whenever the motivation is from Kai, I actually materialize it. When Jocelyn motivates me, I get really excited about it, but end up not doing it. Anyway, I don't think I'm going to be doing anything until after school starts. I'm going to be reading non-stop until school starts now. Just now, in fact, I'm going to start a book. I'm really curious to find out if I will finish it by the end of the day. I really want to.. and hey, I'm running out of time.. *glances at clock* Tis time to read!! posted by Melike at 15:21
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