"$30 on a friggin' lump of wax? I could get a year's worth just cleaning out David's ears." - Sophie
"Now if you think about it, the word 'wanna' is not in the English language...therefore I am incapable of 'wanna-ing' to start. So no, I do not 'wanna' start." - David
"You're cold? But you're wearing all that fur!" - David
"Wow... I like that. So...philosophical. It makes my brain hurt." - Aimee
"Would you suck your dog and call him Baby?" - David
"When you slam your head against something hard, like a wall, don't you feel like putting your head back on there because it hurts so much?" - David
"Casey, just wipe your lips and swallow..."- David
"I can just see David pushing Andrea against a wall and kissing her." - me
"We're stupidly complicated." - David
"I should touch your feet more often." - David
"That'd be so mean if he did that, I'd come to school especially early tomorrow before biology so I can stab him." - Jocelyn
"Oui, pourquoi? (And no, I don't know French.)" - David
"I'm not that great....I mean, no offense to myself or anything." - David
"David talks 100% of the time and 20% of it is funny, Kai talks 20% of the time and 100% of it is funny." - Sophie
"I have never in my life seen someone so very obsessed with gooey substances." - Jocelyn
"I used to draw a lot in the car.. but now I drive." - David
"ÀDe quŽ est‡s hablando?" - David
"Solo un chiste, hombre, solo un chiste.." - David
"In waterpolo, they told us that we had to shave anything that our swimming caps and speedos didn't cover, or we wouldn't get an A in the class. How WRONG is that?!" - David
"I'd gobble down my foot... ew! I mean food." - David
"He looks like Shirley Temple but with brown hair and no facial resemblance." - Robert
"I called out your name and three Davids turned around to look at me, so I had to call you by your last name." - Wendy
"Ugh! Microsoft thinks that it's a fragment.. well I think they're a fragment." - David
"I shared chapstick with him once.. it was mine. It was orange flavored Winnie the Pooh, and it had a Winnie the Pooh base with a Tigger top. It looked like Winnie the Pooh's head was going up Tigger's ass... not that head though, ew. But then I never used it because I was scared he'd have herpes." - Aimee
"So David's, like, gone, man! Stabbed to death and tossed on the skillet... and I was going to say something about a shish-kabob but I'd forgotten the word shish-kabob." - Jocelyn
"I need a signature, not a hug!" - David
"David's a capuchin!" - Kai
"So are you sure he's chilling at home? Maybe he's secretly in Jamaica." - Aimee
"Why, 'cuz he's a fuzzy munchkin?" - Aimee
"Back then we weren't interested in David much. You just called him a Greek god and that was about it." - Jocelyn
"While on graph paper things would have worked out nicely, when showing my calculator drawing to David I'm sure he would have screamed, groped at his eyes, and begged me to end his life right then and there in order to avoid further ugliness. But this just goes to show that sometimes you have to make a choice between which is more important-graphing correctly or David's health." - last paragraph of Robert's math project
"He grabs me so often it's scary." - Robert
"I could so kill him. He won't breathe tomorrow." - Reed
"All right, I've actually better go. See, my sentences make little sense." - David
"You can make out with him
while killing him." - Jocelyn
"David, you look like a gay French artist... in a good way." - Avi
(about David's painting:) "Hey, Jeff, don't f*ck up that painting, it's gonna be tight. It's gonna be in like the Museum of Tightest Painters Club." - Tim
"David can make taking a shit sound like the craziest thing ever." - Tim
"I need a breast implant and Lisa's hair." - David
