"I'm weird today. I'm weird every day. I feel like stabbing a pencil through my heart.. Well I do! Sometimes I want to drill it though my brain." - Jocelyn
"You thrust a flaming sausage in its face and killed it!! DIDN'T YOU??!?! ADMIT IT!! *ahem* ok...enough." - Jocelyn
"Jocelyn.. your legs look like antelope legs." - me
"Antelope stew, anyone?" - me
"Mmm.. Antelope burgers.." - me
"Want some antelope butt bread?" - Aimee
"You and Aimee will be happy to know that I'm beginning to accept my antelopiness. I am ze antelope! Antelopes unite! *antelopes begin to surround her* Ack, ok disunite, disunite!" - Jocelyn
"Well, time to end this one person (I mean antelope) monologue." - Jocelyn
"Mmm... Antelope chops.." - Aimee
"*cuts a slice from the loaf that was made from Jocelyn's bottom and places it gently on a plate and hands it to Melike* Have some...it's fresh!" - Aimee
"They could use my palms as hamburger buns for yummy antelope burgers. Tasty..." - me
"You must always have antelope butt bread with tea." - Aimee
"I seriously think I'm on my way to being a large antelope." - Jocelyn
"The antelope is on her deathbed." - Jocelyn
"*brings out an army of pencils* *screams: ATTACK!*" - Jocelyn
"*singsong voice* Stab stab!" - Jocelyn
"*jumps up, screaming and frothing at the mouth, and starts stabbing random people with pencils, then yells 'Pencilectomies for you all!'*" - Jocelyn
"Speaking of pencils...this half Turkish guy in my summer school class borrowed a pencil today for the test...and you KNOW what he did?!?! HE LOST THE CAP...and USED THE ERASER!!! AFTER I TOLD HIM NOT TOO!!!!!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW EVIL THAT IS!!! but then I was too shy to yell at him...so heh...damn shyness." - Jocelyn
"Freud was just too sexy." - Jocelyn
"So much time, so little lub." - Jocelyn
"If ju ever bring up my stupidity again....me kill." - Jocelyn
"Ze dogs... Zey bark... Me stab." - Jocelyn
"I'm gonna stab the weather." - Jocelyn
"Sorry, I'm fresh outta lub!" - Jocelyn
"Uh, okay.. I find that really funny and hilarious too. What a great sense of humor you have. *giant, fake laugh*" - Jocelyn
"I'm heeding my weird feelings at the moment and going for a walk...humor me." - Jocelyn's away message
"Jocelyn feels like going for a walk and never coming back." - Sophie
"Yes, I'm cold because it's JUST SO HOT!" - Jocelyn
"Could your signature be longer? I only wasted 10 minutes of my life reading it." - Jocelyn
"Alex looks weird.. cuz whenever I look at him he always looks like he just came from the beach." - Jocelyn
"I told [Jocelyn] ... that she and Kai fit so well cuz their body parts match (they're both lanky and nasty). But I was only teasin'." - Aimee
"Come to college with me, Jocelyn!" - a senior
"Wow, I'm still spicy!" - Jocelyn
"I wouldn't have kids.. I'd ruin 'em." - Jocelyn
"Wh.. what? But.. but you were supposed to whimper! You're messing with the whole natural order of things!" - Jocelyn
"I love the hair clip. It doesn't poke me in the head incessantly like my other ones." - Jocelyn
"Damn Ruben, saying he'd come back in 30 minutes. Too bad for his ass." - Jocelyn
"People who run and talk are so annoying. I can't even run!" - Jocelyn
"That wasn't your fault; I was involved and I'm dumb." - Jocelyn
"No I'm not [cute]. I'm strange and ugly." - Jocelyn
"I would be disturbed if you didn't exist." - me
"You're weird." - Kai
"It's too late for life now." - Jocelyn
"Jocelyn talks about herself in the third person. She is banned from discussions on normalcy." - Jeff
"In 6th grade I turned purple." - Jocelyn
"She's kind of a fat pig now." - Jocelyn
"I prey on weakness." - Jocelyn
"Oohh, I'm getting a little too free with my hatred here." -Jocelyn
"Can we share Kai, please?" - Jeff
"Why are we so retarded?" - Jocelyn
"I'm disgusting. I should be drowned in my own filth." - Jocelyn
"I think I'm gonna die every day!" - Jocelyn
"You would die at SMC - you'd get tired of making fun of everybody." - Jocelyn
"Sorry, sometimes my sister talks to me and sometimes I have to listen." - Jocelyn
"Melike, if I don't see the quotes page when I go to my aunt's house tomorrow, I don't know what I'll do. I'll be riding a horse. I'll just fall off." - Jocelyn
"I just woke up this morning and thought, 'Life is a pit, a pit of despair. I'm never getting up.'" - Jocelyn
"I'm so retarded. I should be put in the retard home." - Jocelyn
"I like fuzzy. Fuzzy is my name." - Jocelyn
"That's me, I'm helpful like a small dwarf." - Jocelyn
"It's bad for your health to love the strange and ugly." - Jocelyn
"I had to wear neckgear, and I had to sleep with it at night. How's that for boo life?" - Jocelyn
"God my social life is so unstimulating.. It's disgusting." - Jocelyn
"You're like me.. I laugh way after the fact and laughter keeps recurring until people are just disturbed by me. It's all part of being strange and ugly." - Jocelyn
"I should run the world, Melike. I'd do a better job." - Jocelyn
"Yeah, they just never learned the ways of being a person." - Jocelyn
"They can be diagnosed with chronically ugly." - Jocelyn
"I've only memorized 1000 questions. How am I supposed to get anywhere in life this way?" - Jocelyn
"I didn't know cruel was a masculine quality." - Jocelyn
"I'm like a tomb. Nothing gets out, except the undead." - Jocelyn
"You are perfect. I'm trying to reach you. You're the asymptote." - me
"When you're inspired, you go and do work. When I'm inspired, I sit and feel inspired." - me
"Every time I tell other people about plans I have, the plans get cancelled, it's really funny and strange." - Jocelyn
"He looks so normal, and I don't even notice him, but then he emits this horrible noise." - Jocelyn
"That is comedy. Hatred is comedy." - Jocelyn
"Jocelyn is the ultimatum burrito of hotititude." - Reed
"Jocelyn has a really tiny butt. It reminds me of a rump roast that you buy in one of those sytrofoam packages with the saran wrap on it in supermarkets." - Aimee
"I play Hearts on my computer, and I named the other players after my dead rabbits." - Jocelyn
"Omg, I bought horseback riding clothes the other day.. it's not hot." - Jocelyn
"Sorry... keeping tabs on my roommate." - Jocelyn
"I was born old." - Jocelyn
"Jocelyn ain't that bad. I hung out with her once. Ugh!" - Reed
"I want to hear about sex, and only sex: the only interesting part of other people's lives. Okay... not really. Some people's lives, though. But not all." - Jocelyn
"I don't believe in TMI [Too Much Information]. For me, there is rarely TMI. People always say 'TMI' when they don't want to hear any more detail, usually about someone else's sex life. But I usually do want more detail. I consider conversation where someone tells me about their sex life to be a successful conversation, usually." - Jocelyn
"Sam is like the anti-man." - Jocelyn
"I had a sensual spider in my bed last night...it bit me twice on the neck, on the stomach, and on my back." - Jocelyn
"I might look weird, but not particularly European." - Jocelyn
"Okay, I'm gonna lie under the covers naked and not do anything so you can grab my ass." - Jocelyn
"You're so sweet. So... damn... tender." - Jocelyn
"He took her flower! He stole it from right under her!" - Jocelyn
"Don't date Jocelyn. You'll have to shave your chest." - me
"Why bother using a condom? Rape someone else!" - Jocelyn
