"Trust me, I know about crying over men, and none of them are worth it. They're nothing but hormones and semen." - Aimee
"Guess what!! Karoline got her first kiss today, from a 2 and half year old boy! I got mad and said, 'Really? Well if he tries to kiss her again he won't live to see 3!'" - Aimee
"Muahaha, my hot friend just broke up with his girlfriend." - Christa
"OHHH I forgot to tell you about Diction boy!!! He's so cute! He's in my diction class, and he's BEAUTIFUL! So amazing. Must get him. He talked to me today. So preppy! I love it! (good preppy) Ohhh soooo good. So so good. And he got into the top choir! AHHHHH! SO HOT!" - Christa
"Why don't guys like me, aside from the occasional DB [Diction Boy] who is just a man whore? I don't understand. I refuse to say it's because I'm not pretty enough, because I am! and I refuse to think it's because I'm not smart, because I am. I got an A on my jazz aural skills test. Take THAT, trumpet players. No no, I'm not THAT pretty. I'm just saying, realistically, I look just as decent as any other girl around here." - Christa
"I saw DB today, and he thought he was so great. But I didn't." - Christa
"Aw, I snapped at him! I'm terrible. And I went a good long time being so nice." - Christa
"Random guy in here just like, talking at me. He's trying to hit on me, but is failing. Wow awkward. He's so bad at it that it's awkward." - Christa, at work
"Dude, if I claimed my girlfriend status, I could use his kitchen to make me food that I like." - anonymous
"I've never been this much in love since Leela 5 years ago. I never thought I could again, but I walked to Central Square to buy her baked potatoes from Wendy's and a veggie burger from Burger King yesterday and took a nasty spill on my knee and busted it a bit, and it was worth it just to see her smile and say thank you." - Phil
"My boyfriend likes Tron more than he likes me." - Jocelyn
"I love sucking in your pheromones." - Jonathan
"Do you flirt? You sort of justyour mouth and squeak." - Jonathan
"My friends are too weird to be in romantic dreams, even as side characters." - Jesse
"I found out that I never try to talk to girl, and then only ugly girls try to talk to me, so I'm not interested, and then keep on hoping that some pretty girl will initiate the talk, but they never do." - Roger Li
"The peacocks are actually smart.. they'd rather live short lives and get to mate a lot instead of having a long life and don't mate that often." - Mr. Gaida
"Wow. This poem is real drama. It sounds like you killed his cat." - Nicole, about a love poem
"Girls are cool. I love hanging with them, but it's so fun hanging out with guys. I mean I love talking with you and sharing the secret gossip but sometimes the convo gets boring, and I love just flirting with guys, and punching their buttons. And you know, they're so easy to manipulate and have fun with. They're just one big hormone mess." - Chelsea
"Aww ... My ex sent me a Valentine's card ... oops ... forgot to tell her that I broke up with her! What's a nice way to break up now?" - Nuruddin
"I don't want a relationship right now, just lots of close, intimate friendships, and some rampant sex on the side." - anonymous friend
"Watch the TV, eat your bon-bons, and have my babies." - Astro, on the topic of having a wife
"I abstain every once in a while." - Marta
"I don't really feel like losing my virginity now." - me
"That's part of the fun of being in a college environment; boys everywhere, all wanting YOU!" - Kim
"I do jump into sex like a week into a relationship, but that's not my fault. They jump me." - Phil
"Haha, Melike, you attract men like maggots to sewege. You is sewege." - Reed
"Oh I should be going out and harpooning some girls of my own right now. Aarr!" - Reed
"It's just my luck that I'm dating a telepath." - Reed
"She was staring at me and I could tell that she was working on getting something out so I was like, 'I can't sit here and take this stare forever' so I turned out the lights. She had somewhere to go soon, too, and I know women can't have a talk on a schedule." - Reed
"Her silent treatment is very good guilt trip.. almost like I'm back home in high school with homework nagger. Just kidding, my mom's chill now." - Reed
"I feel so guilty and barbaric, like I can't ever appreciate the tender affection of a woman, and crush her under wolven jaws." - Reed
"We're a cutesy couple. Ugh it's so terrible but so true. It's really bad. When we kiss sometimes we go 'mmmwa!' and we smile afterwards. And I was saying that when we kiss sometimes, especially in public, I can see little cartoon hearts pop out and flutter away." - Reed
"Girlfriends hold such power. I grew a goatee." - Robert
"I should give up on women.. stay celibate, save myself a lot of trouble.. donate sperm to know that my seed got out there somewhere and let that be the end of it." - Robert
"So it sounds to me like you need to get your groove on." - Robert
"You guys are the most exciting thing in high school." - Jocelyn
"Aw I feel bad. When we were making out, I kept thinking about my final." - anonymous friend
"Love is a pain in the ass. I need to, like, not get married.. remind me, ok?" - Steven
"Saul/Megan, they had a surgery, they are now inseparable. So now all we have to do is blend in their names, like Segan or Maul." - Steven
"When you first meet someone you like, you're as excited as a dog who hasn't gone pee in four months, am I right?" - Steven
"Melike, if I do not eat I might OHhh look, Jose just walked by. So cute! He waved with two hands! So cute!" - Christa, while hungry
"She looks better without makeup.. or clothes." - John, about his girlfriend
"Well, I've definitely found that to be in any kind of successful relationship with a Turk, you need to be able to just kinda... accept certain things without explanation. You know?" - Ed
"You do not need a boyfriend when you have several big hungries." - Reed
"Whenever we're near each other, we gravitate toward each other and start making out." - Reed
"Well, maybe the man's in love with you.. there isn't anything you can do about that." - my mom
"'You and your wife will be happy in your life together.' The fortune cookie was stale, unfortunately." - Jonathan
"I like weird guys, too, but they have to be f*cking hot, 'cuz I'm picky that way, which is terrible." - Milo
"I don't ask girls out. I have to hook up with them first, and then see how things turn out." - Avi
"I said, 'Don't lie about your platonic feelings!' really loudly, and this girl walking past gave me a very weird look." - Jocelyn
"I don't like naked guys unless they're my boyfriend. Seriously. Naked girls are way prettier." - Christa
"Man, her parents. Sometimes we'd be at dinner, all in English. And then her mom would like look at her and talk in Turkish. I'm like, 'Uh... subtitles please?'" - Ed
"Well, I have somehow won her parents over. Did she tell you that by the end of the summer, they offered booze to me? I totally win. That's so victory over a Turkish set of parents. When they are like, 'This is Turkish alcohol, we want you to try it,' then you totally win." - Ed
"If someone can stand me for six years, I'll marry him... sort of." - Marta
"They don't do anything for my gaydar, but the way they're acting, they very well could be." - Milo
[on liking at least one guy from every race:] "I've done the entire palette at this point." - Tulasi
"Yay! I figured out that cute guy that lives on my floor isn't a freshman." - Jenn
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