"I like gum, but sometimes I get mad at it.. because I want to bite it and crush it and it just moves away.. and so I bite harder, but it just gets me more mad." - Robert
"Empty mailbox? By George, no such thing shall occur!" - Robert
"Junovat? me vent to Magic Mountain on Wednesday with Casey and Robert...but it was gross...Casey got heatstroke and was throwing up all over the place. Robert looked so funny when he saw her throw up...he just looked sort of delicate...or freaked out...lol." - Jocelyn
"brb--hang on a sex.. er.. sec. Sorry." - Robert
"Well you'd just better ding dong try then there, missy." - Robert
"Being a cute little girl can be tiring when the world thinks you're a guy." - Sophie
"Simma down na' just simma down.." - Robert
"Robert is a sticky low geranium with small reddish purple flowers." - me (and the dictionary)
"Look, little doggies! They're doggies, and they're little.. hence the name 'little doggies.'" - Robert
"People are messed up sometimes. People need to not be people for a day, just to try it out." - Robert
"Leave y'all online in the blue yonder? Neva!" - Robert
"Robert's hair looks like a fish skeleton." - Andrea
"Y'know... Robert reminds me of Britney Spears." - Andrea
"I just want to hug myself! Yay!" - Robert
"I want this weekend to keep going.. Just extend it right on through the week; bulldoze the figgin thing down." - Robert
"You bes' watch out or I'll drop a dime down that well of yours if you don't stop shovin' it in my face." - Robert
"Although another year older may mean another year closer to the hellish reigns of the senility and docility which crush us in their icy grips as we edge closer to the day on which our blood stops flowing and all that we were is gone from the mortal world for all eternity, it doesn't mean that you have to rub it in his face, David!" - Jason
"I want to just shave my arm, but then my mom would probably be worried." - Robert
"Good night! Sleep tight.. or sleep loose.. Doesn't matter to me." - Robert
"What if your name was Bambi?" - Robert
"He's choking my shuttlecock!" - Robert
"This is my ode to no: no no, yes, maybe, no." - Robert
"I feel like joining the army." - Robert
"Emily, are you doing submersive things down there?" - Ms. Franke
"I said ten, bitch!" - Tigran
"My advice--if your partner's head explodes, get OUT OF THE WATER." - Robert
"Ya know, I'm just better at math when I'm surrounded by all girls." - Robert
"I like legs, but I also like breasts, too." - Robert
"Oh man.. I just swallowed a bug." - Robert
"I'll break her kneecaps if she says she wants to go, and I wouldn't feel bad either!" - Robert
"Like I always say, just loosen the belt and go back for seconds and thirds!" - Robert
"Hopefully he'll remember me when I remind him of our strange names: Jaden, Kai, Melike... then Bob. I was tempted to just say, 'the blonde guy with Kai, Jaden, and Melike.'" - Robert
"Who knows.. That girl's moods swing like she's pregnant." - Robert
"Robert's goatee looks like a mouse pelt." - Jocelyn
"I chased away raccoons at 4 AM in my boxers and boots screaming, cursing, and throwing pinecones." - Robert
"Ah! My neck. I turn it and it wants to keep turning; it's like it's on a string. Ew! I'm never going to move my neck again." - Robert
"Ah, the heater! I love heat! It keeps me alive! ALIVE!" - Robert
"I'll cut your phone lines every night so you do your homework." - Robert
"Tigran is trippy. He's always talking to me in the voice of Jesus." - Robert
"That fool Robert looks like a mad scientist from Germany." - Tigran
"I just want to hug everyone, except the guys. They're dumb. Well, one guy is nice, but the rest go into the flaming pit of hatred." - Robert
"There was something I was saving to tell you, but I forgot.. only now it's consuming me and I cannot function." - Robert
"Well, it's official once again: she's dum. not even deserving of the silent b. The b has forsaken her." - Robert
"Hook, what am I going to say for this ensayo??" - Robert
"They should start a dumb club.. I mean dum." - Robert
"Chatting eats my soul." - Robert
"Sorry, ball bounced on keyboard. Hey that's kinda cool. Let's see what the ball says this time. It's like an quiji board." - Robert
"Go back to 3rd grade, where tantrums were acceptable." - Robert
"It's a kid's story about a boy who runs off into the desert because people are making fun of him. It's cheesy, but the masks are awesome." - Robert
"You know what I'd like to learn to play? The fiddle. How cool would that be." - Robert
"You know it's hard for me to remember that when you stare into an abyss, the nothingness will stare back at you." - Robert
"Haha--Stephen Miller tried to convince me today that he and I exist on a higher plane than the rest of humanity and we exist to discover, and not just to exist. He's so..." - Robert
"I trust Robert. He's a trustable-ass man." - Steven
"Sawaya screamed at me today because I made a completely neutral and non-bias statement about Iraq and he couldn't handle that. He went berserk. He was literally screaming at me... literally!" - Robert
"He freaks me out, man. He needs to be tranquilized. Haha, how can he function?" - Robert
"Yeah, our shoes are so comfy. It's like walking on clouds, or sheep." - Robert, about guys
"Screw perceptions. Die people!" - Robert
"He's like a cadaver." - Jocelyn
"Huh. That'd be interesting to see, in a I-hope-it-never-happens kinda way." - Robert
"I have some thinking to do. I can feel my brain trying to tell me something; I just need to relax and find out what it is." - Robert
"I seriously see myself in the mirror sometimes and I'm shocked that such a goofy-looking basket-case is staring back at me." - Robert
"Frats are full of beer-guzzling jerks with only two agendas: sex and partying. Frats are terrible. FRATERNITIES, on the other hand, are great groups of guys who come together to have fun and be respectable people." - Robert
"One time last year Rob came over and we did some chemicals, at which point he proceeded to stand up, repeatedly pat his face, and inform a room full of people that he could no longer feel his face. This will make an excellent intro to his speech when he runs for Congress." - Robert's friend
"Ugh!! I dreamt that Robert was my boyfriend, and the end of the world was coming, so we made out a lot." - me
"Hoo yes! That guy's so hott!" - Reed
"He's the emotional barnacle kind of drunk." - Robert
"He's an idiot, so that will explain a lot of his comments." - Robert
"Robert looks more like a pedophile now." - Avi
