"I was going to ask something but a different IM completely trashed my train of thought." - Sam
"Melike plays Soul Calibur! As Sophitia! Why does no one else recognize that this is incredibly cool." - Sam
"He should be Mister Universe." - Aimee
"Jocelyn, I want to take Sam out to the fields and take pictures of him!" - me
"Take Sam out to the fields and shoot him." - Jocelyn
"Well, I say it is time to kick his ass." - Jocelyn
"You guys are gonna kill the world with your cuteness." - Jocelyn
"Went to a big kumite clinic today, lots of very important, strong karate guys, with my hair tied back in a pink scrunchie because it was the only one I could find." - Sam
"He's Samalicious." - Jocelyn
"Sam whimpers a lot." - Mr. Rhodes
"It's amazing how much he does look like the typical (stereotypical) ideal of Jesus. If he walked up to me one day and said it was Judgement Day, I would cry." - Michael
"Once saw a clip of a little shih-tzu jumping on a bed and landing on its face. It seemed very happy, but confused. It reminded me of me." - Sam
"I thought I was supposed to just sit there and look cute." - Sam
"I'm so happy that I'm de-crappifying your days. I can die happily now." - Sam
"Oof, Sam is very tired." - Sam
"You shouldn't like me, I look so odd and I say such inane things as 'Wow, Sally.'" - Sam
"Get him a mix tape with an intro track of you talking in German." - Reed
"Manual labor and cooking are the two things I can always be sure to do decently." - Sam
"Muahaha! Yes, in a few months, I will be a knitting cello-playing fool!" - Sam
"My computer once told me that 'You do not have permission to modify this print job.' I took a screenshot." - Sam
"Her values are, um, out of whack. Not that mine are in whack." - Sam
"If Sam hadn't broken his whimpering habit, I shoulda started bringing a squirt gun to school and squirting him when he whimpered." - Aimee
"I'd take the hair from your discarded, faceless scalps and weave it into a doormat and sell it in Tijuana for five bucks." - Aimee
"I had a dream that I had a fight with Sam and I slapped his face." - me
"I don't do much with my mom at all, besides shop, or be driven places, or see movies now and again." - Sam
"If I had a monkey I'd name him Sam... just kidding." - Aimee
"Yes, this is the way guys lose weight: eat pie and work out." - Sam
"He is better than you. Maybe you should bow down to him and become his slave." - Robert
"I'd generally agree that a road trip is more important than the ACT, but, he did spell 'taking' wrong. Hm." - Sam
"Sam, I've found your glasses, but they work on me, so I don't know if I wanna give 'em to you." - Gus
"Gus, you are like a small, smooth-talking God of Retrieving Stuff." - Sam
"I believe that Sam truly is the master of rhetoric. My hat comes off to you, sir." - Carl
"You look at Sam and see that he's a Jew. You look at his nose and say, 'He's a Jew.'" - Aimee
"Sam looked like he was on crack because he had a conjunctivitis thing. He looked so stoned! He had to wear sunglasses to school!" - Aimee
"Aw... He's such a 50s housewife." - Robert
"I had two different trains of thought, and they both crashed together." - Sam
"My sister made this family tree... I had no idea that I had a great grandmother named Bertha." - Sam
"My entire 9th grade wardrobe was from one of the racks at the Gap." - Sam
"My hair hasn't been this short since I was born!" - Sam
"Aw, it's so cute, Theo's pooping... Katie! Katie! Sometimes one of them smells the other's butt while the other one is-- it's so gross!" - Sam (about his dogs)
"I stopped doing it because I thought it was a waste of time, but then I went and wasted more time." - Sam
"Did I ever tell you about the time when I had a raiding party kidnap me at 2:00 AM and we walked around shirtless?" - Sam
"I did shave my beard, and everyone here says I look very handsome, except my sister." - Sam
"BAHAHHAH Sam's long hair was so long. When I first came I was like, 'Who's the Jesus dude.' Actually he seemed more like John the Baptist in my opinion, but not everyone knows about him, so I just used 'Jesus.'" - Christa
"I remember in England, I woke up two hours late and ran screaming across the city half dressed." - Sam
"Never overestimate my powers of understanding anything, even if I write it myself." - Sam
"Yes!! The word 'rar' appears as soon as the second panel." - Sam
"If you produced, say, a shotglass, with your name on it, in Chinese, completely with your own hands... oh man, that would be so awesome." - Sam
"I'm wonderfully pleased to see you so on top of things, and having boba, which is tasty and reminds me of pretzels but squishy and round." - Sam
"I like to think that it's not such a great picture, but instead that I've just become far more good-looking. Yep." - Sam
