I get dozens of spam daily, and I actually read some of them. Here are excerpts from some spam that I thought were awkward and hilarious. Some of it's actually quite profound.
I was curious about all the nonsense that spammers put in the bottom of the e-mail, so I asked Google and got an answer:
As Bayesian filtering has become popular as a spam-filtering technique, spammers have started using methods to weaken it. To a rough approximation, Bayesian filters rely on word probabilities. If a message contains many words which are only used in spam, and few which are never used in spam, it is likely to be spam. To weaken Bayesian filters, some spammers now include lines of irrelevant, random words alongside the sales pitch. A variant on this tactic may be borrowed from the Usenet abuser known as "Hipcrime" -- to include passages from books taken from Project Gutenberg, or nonsense sentences generated with "dissociated press" algorithms. Randomly generated phrases can create spamoetry (spam poetry) or spam art.
(I got this paragraph from
Wikipedia's definition of spam.)
The comments in square brackets are mine. I was curious and googled some of the text to see who wrote them.
Enjoy!
Hi rene told me that sam' gets married. isn't that lovely? when are you bringing mike home to show? love , mom THIS IS AN AUTO-GENERATED MESSAGE - PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE
Login Name: psayfjlc
Password: ygskatb5500fg
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A disease must be made DORMANT to stop infection.
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[The subject line of one spam, to grab the reader's attention:] It is known, that dogs eat horses!
In nine cases out of ten, a woman had better show more affection than she feels. [- Aristotle]
Wise men never sit and wail their loss, but cheerily seek how to redress their harms. [- William Shakespeare]
The mark of a good action is that it appears inevitable in retrospect. [- Robert Louis Stevenson]
Man becomes a slave to his constantly repeated acts. What he at first chooses, at last compels. [- Orison Swett Marden]
The ideal friendship is to feel as one while remaining two. [- Anna Sophie Swetchine] You don't save a pitcher for tomorrow. Tomorrow, it may rain. [- Leo Durotcher]
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on. [- Winston Churchill]
Learning is pleasurable but doing is the height of enjoyment. [- Novalis]
We reform others unconsciously when we walk uprightly. [- Anna Sophie Swetchine]
Life's greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved. [- Victor Hugo]
Be content to be what you are, and prefer nothing to it, and do not fear or wish for your last day. [- Marcus Valerius Martial]
There are only two things you HAVE TO do in life. You HAVE TO die. You HAVE TO live until you die. You make up all the rest. [- Grant M. Bright] A loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. [- Jerome K. Jerome]
To live with fear and not be afraid is the final test of maturity. [- Edward Weeks] Dreading that climax of all human ills the inflammation of his weekly bills. [- Lord Byron]
Love is not just looking at each other, it's looking in the same direction. [- Antoine de Saint-Exupery]
A great obstacle to happiness is to expect too much happiness. [- Bernard LeBovier Fontenelle]
Please to put a nickel, please to put a dime. How petitions trickle in at Christmas time! [- Phyllis Mcginley]
Heya!
Has your cum ever dribbled and you wish it had shot out?
Have you ever wanted to impress your girl with a huge cumshot?
Dear Student,
Would you be interested in achieving an outstanding 4.00 GPA? Would you like to find out how to:
- concentrate when tired or bored;
- learn faster and reduce 3 times the time allocated for studying;
- prepare for lectures and learn at least three times more than the other students;
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- acquire Vital Techniques on combating test anxiety;
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- prepare for a test and learn new test-taking techniques in order to ace it;
- never have problems with writing assignments;
- communicate effectively with your professors and peers
- and much more...
If your answer to the above questions is 'yes' then please respond to my e-mail.
Have a very exciting and rewarding academic year!
Andy Hewitt, PhD
Education Specialist
.
Subject: Fountain of Youth
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-----original message-----
From: renee [mailto:fawn]
Sent: Friday, March 5, 2004 3:00PM
To: eli; trenton; treasa; candyce; katrice
Subject: appreciate but no thank you PO 12 00 B , Oran ge sta d, A ruba
Had he possessed any money he would have descended to the town and taken a bed at a hotel, but he had left home without a single penny Fortunately the nights were warm at this season, so he determined to travel all night, that he might reach by morning some place he had never before visited
Cuba had always interested him, and he judged it ought to lie in a southeasterly direction from BostonSo he set the indicator to that point and began gliding swiftly toward the southeast
[Note: I googled a sentence from the above short story-like thing. Apparently it's an excerpt from The Master Key by Lyman Frank Baum.]
Her daughters hairy mouse calculates.
Mine hairy tv prepare for fight.
His brothers golden bra is angry the time that a well-crafted kitchen lies or her daughters purple bra prepare for fight.
Our white bluish magazine is thinking.
The bluish computer adheres.
Their red recycle bin got an idea at the place that our hairy boots spit.
Her daughters silver small bra stares.
Mine purple clock calculates.
Her daughters green table makes sound while any given round-shaped house run while their little car snores.
Any beautiful sony looks around.
The odd shaped green beautiful pensil stares however, our children white little eraser show its value.
Joslyn, with a laugh. Fussing over electricity, I'll bet a cookie! I do wish, said the mother, fretfully, that he would get over that mania
It unfits him for anything else.
[Note: This is also an excerpt from the same story I mentioned above, The Master Key by Lyman Frank Baum.]
Their slopy odd shaped caw stares and perhaps his brothers red picture falls. Whose soft well-crafted ram spit. Her fancy boat arrives and perhaps his brothers slopy tv prepare for fight. A given expensive picture fidgeting. Our golden door adheres or a soft camera sleeps. His fancy wine snores at the place that his brothers beautiful glasses is thinking. Their fancy car is angry. Our children tall round door looks around. Our children round stupid carpet stares. Whose slopy stupid shining gun stinks and the fancy paper calculates. Her round bicycle stands-still at the place that their stupid kitchen is on fire. Her daughters beautiful table calms-down. Mine round-shaped red bra snores at the place that a soft ram arrives. The shining camera is on fire. Her daughters soft book walks and still mine round-shaped gun stands-still as soon as the silver bed snores.h53
